9.29.2008

On Being 30

So, I've been 30 for a little over a week (in fact, I share my birthday with National Talk Like a Pirate Day!), and it comes with a mixed bag of emotions. There is a part of me that can't really believe that I am 30, and I wonder when in the hell life happened to the point that I'm no longer 16, or 20, or 25. I don't feel 30, which is good, I suppose, and I have to believe that the next decade will be better than the last -- it seems more respectable, somehow, you know? But, on the other hand, this is not the life I imagined for myself at 30. Don't get me wrong: it's not bad; it just isn't what I wanted. When I was 16 (and 20 and even 25), I pictured myself with a family by now. I pictured myself doing more with my writing, not just using it as a pastime and a dream. I certainly didn't envision myself as a 30-year-old recovering from a freshly broken heart, or as a 30-year-old doing a complete re-evaluation of my life. I always figured life would be settled by now... But, it isn't. At least, mine isn't. And that's okay. I've done things I never imagined I would do (serving a mission comes right to mind), I've had amazing opportunities, I've met incredible people, and learned a lot. I have friends, I have a great family, and for the most part, I can honestly say that I am content. And: I'm 30.

2 comments:

Jenn said...

I feel so horrible that I forgot your birthday! I even had it on my calendar. Anyway... I think that you are one of the most fun people I have ever met. I still remember your 16th birthday. I loved riding around with you in your truck. I have memories with you that will last in my mind for a lifetime. I wish you the best in your next 30 years. Happy Birthday, Steph.

Stephanie said...

Thanks, Jenn! Yeah, we certainly did have some good times, and I'm glad you were there with me!