Quirks Ahoy!

Jessie tagged me to share 6 quirky things about myself. There are loads more than 6, and to be honest, I had to get help, but here they are, in no particular order:

#1 - I hate odd numbers. In truth, I'm a little bit afraid of them. And by a little, I mean a lot; I'm kind of pathologically afraid of odd numbers. I'm convinced that only bad things can come from them. For example, when I fill up my tank with gas, I will go up as many cents as I need to in order to have it end on a "round" number, or the next whole number. AND, if I go over, even by ONE cent, I have to keep going until I end up at a number I can live with. I just have to. And, they nearly put me in apartment 187 at my new complex; good thing they found out #156 was available, or I'd've had to back out. Seriously.

#2 - I stockpile scrapbook paper. I do not have, nor do I intend to start, a scrapbook. I don't even really make cards with it. I just like knowing that I have all that cute paper on hand, "just in case."

#3 - I have what some have called an "unnatural love for office supplies." I'm not getting frisky with Post-its, and the sight of Whiteout doesn't turn me on, just in case you were wondering; but, I do love office supplies. I like having them around, I like purchasing them, and I like using them. When I was a little girl, I dreamt of being a secretary for the unlimited number of office supplies they get to have at any given time. (SIDEBAR: I was a secretary, and the office supplies were not nearly unlimited -- budgets, you know -- but, it was practically Nirvana every time I opened the supply cupboard...) In conjunction with this, I am on a seemingly never-ending search for the perfect pen. Most recently, I purchased the new Sharpie pen in black. I had such high hopes for it, and alas, it let me down. The nib is too tiny and flimsy, and it isn't near "flow-y" enough, and thus: the search continues.

#4 - I love Tropical Dots. In fact, they are the only Dots I will eat, and really, the only gummy candy I like. I will travel to find Tropical Dots (Maverik and Walgreen's locations being the most likely sources of the elusive T.D.'s), because they are kind of hard to find. When I do find them, I generally stockpile those as well. Trust me, they're worth it.

#5 - Someday, I want to own 1,000 books at one time. I made that goal when I was 9 or 10, and I said it kind of as a joke, but the idea took root, grew, and flourished. I love books (and, no, that isn't one of my quirks -- lots of people like books), and I have convinced myself that I cannot die until I have 1,000 books in one room, at one time. For the record, the library that the Beast gives Belle in Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" makes me weepy.

#6 - I hate mascots. Really, I hate anything where I can't see the person's real face, so this includes clowns, too, and I will cross the street/room/county to stay away from them. I also hate dolls with porcelain faces, because they are supposed to look like real faces, but they AREN'T, and it's just creepy.

So, there you have it. I am only going to tag Jeremiah, because Jessie tagged the other people I would've, and I'll just wait to see what they say! :)

On Being 30

So, I've been 30 for a little over a week (in fact, I share my birthday with National Talk Like a Pirate Day!), and it comes with a mixed bag of emotions. There is a part of me that can't really believe that I am 30, and I wonder when in the hell life happened to the point that I'm no longer 16, or 20, or 25. I don't feel 30, which is good, I suppose, and I have to believe that the next decade will be better than the last -- it seems more respectable, somehow, you know? But, on the other hand, this is not the life I imagined for myself at 30. Don't get me wrong: it's not bad; it just isn't what I wanted. When I was 16 (and 20 and even 25), I pictured myself with a family by now. I pictured myself doing more with my writing, not just using it as a pastime and a dream. I certainly didn't envision myself as a 30-year-old recovering from a freshly broken heart, or as a 30-year-old doing a complete re-evaluation of my life. I always figured life would be settled by now... But, it isn't. At least, mine isn't. And that's okay. I've done things I never imagined I would do (serving a mission comes right to mind), I've had amazing opportunities, I've met incredible people, and learned a lot. I have friends, I have a great family, and for the most part, I can honestly say that I am content. And: I'm 30.


Pin-Up Girl of the Week

This is how I feel when I get on a scale, too...

5 Pictures That Made Me Laugh

This is another blogging trick I've borrowed from my friend at I Know About Popular, but he doesn't mind (I asked him).

Sad Songs (and by Sad, I mean Poignant)

My very good friend over at I Know About Popular challenged me to post my 6 favorite, sad songs (view his list), and then took it a step further, and challenged me to make them all Damien Rice songs. I adore Damien Rice, I have nearly everything he has recorded, I've seen him live twice and this should've been much easier than it has been, but I couldn't choose. So, after 3 weeks and much thought, plus a minor tweaking of "sad" to "poignant" -- because that works better for me -- here is my list:

#6: "I Remember", from the album O. This song is interesting, because as he explained, he wrote half of it at the beginning of a relationship, and the other half after it imploded; this in itself would make it a poignant song, because it shows the two sides of a relationship, and Heaven knows we've all been there, but additionally, the first part of this song is very sweet. The tugs on my heartstrings: "I remember it well, the first time that I saw your head 'round the door, 'cause mine stopped working... Want you here tonight, want you here, 'cause I can't believe what I found... I remember it well; I was stood in your line, and your mouth, your mouth, your mind..."

#5: "Delicate", from the album O. This song kind of speaks for itself, but it tugs nonetheless: "We might make love in some sacred place/that look on your face is delicate. So why d'ya fill my sorrow with the words you've borrowed from the only place you've known; why d'ya sing hallelujah, if it means nothin' to ya, why d'ya sing with me at all?"

#4: "The Animals were Gone", from the album 9. This song is verging on straight up sad, which frankly, I love, but I also like this one for the Rapunzel reference. (I'm kind of a literary nerd; what can I say?) The tugs on my heartstrings: "I know that I've left you in places of despair; I know that I love you, so please throw down your hair. At night I trip without you and hope I don't wake up, 'cause waking up without you is like drinking from an empty cup."

#3: "Blower's Daughter", from the album O. This is actually the first Damien Rice song I ever heard. I was immediately hooked, and this song spawned our love affair. I had never heard anything so tragically romantic, or hauntingly beautiful: "And so it is, the colder water, the blower's daughter, the pupil in denial: I can't take my eyes off of you. Did I say that I loathe you? Did I say that I want to leave it all behind? I can't take my mind off of you, my mind,' til I find somebody new."

#2: "Rootless Tree", from the album 9 (although the various live versions are better, I think.) This song breaks my heart. It is difficult to imagine how hard things must have been, or how bad the relationship must've gotten for him to pen these tugs: "So f*** you, and all we've been through. I said leave it; it's nothing to you, and if you hate me then hate me so good that you can let me out, let me out of this hell when you're around." Ouch...

#1: "Accidental Babies", from the album 9. This song is profoundly sad. I heard it for the first time at a live show, and I wept. It is far and away my favorite Damien Rice song, even though it still makes me teary sometimes. The tugs on my heartstrings: "Is he dark enough, enough to see your light? Do you brush your teeth before you kiss? Do you miss my smell? is he bold enough to take you on? Do you feel like you belong? Does he drive you wild? Or just mildly free? What about me?... And I know I make you cry, I know sometimes you wanna die, but do you really feel alive without me? If so be free; if not, leave him for me before one of us has accidental babies, for we are ..."

Honorable Mention: "9 Crimes" from the album 9: "Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do. It's the wrong kind of place to be cheating on you; it's the wrong time, she's pulling me through. It's a small crime, and I got no excuse."

And if you'll excuse me, I need a tissue...


Update and a Poem

So, I more or less have an apartment to move into; I am just waiting to hear back with confirmation, which is a huge stress reliever! Otherwise, I still haven't packed a thing, and the days are rolling on. But, on a lighter note, and in honor of Megan's wedding on Friday, a love poem:

Sonnet XVII

I don't love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as one loves certain obscure things,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom but carries
the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose
from the earth lives dimly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don't know any other way to love,
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams.

--Pablo Neruda (from One Hundred Love Sonnets)


Holy Crap!

I cannot believe it is September already! When did that happen? And, this September is going to be particularly hairy: my cute sister, Megan, is getting married on the 12th, which is awesome, I have recently started a new job, and will be fairly busy with it for the next few weeks, and for some reason I decided that I need to move. To be fair, my lease is up on the 30th, and I've kind of had it with my place, but moving while trying to participate in a wedding, and working more than 40 hours a week isn't going to be fun. Plus, my birthday is in a couple weeks, and in true diva fashion, I have decided that I don't want to move or work or do anything but indulge myself on my birthday. Super for me, not so much for the time crunch I've put on myself. It might not be SO bad, except that I also haven't really decided where I am going to move, and it is really hard to find affordable apartments that allow dogs and that aren't in BFE or Dodgyville. In hindsight, I maybe should have paid the extra $50 to my current landlord, and stuck it out another month... Fingers crossed I can pull this off!

Pinup of the Week

She's a Pinup AND a Pirate...