A Thought or Two...

“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘Well, if I’d known better I’d have done better,’ that’s all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, ‘I’m sorry,’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I’m sorry.’ If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that’s rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don’t have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach” —Maya Angelou


On the Interwebs

This video made me laugh.

I started following this Twitter feed, because I'm a geek. 



The last year's evidence to the contrary, I have a blog. And while I don't have an delusions that there are hoards of people reading this, I have begun to feel that I should get back to this. There have been moments lately that I feel I want to record, and as much as I love to write, I am horrible at journaling, so this is it for now. Also, and I know this is silly, but I don't need anything else to feel guilty about, and this blog niggles. It quietly berates me in the wee hours of the night. It reminds me that if I am going to claim a piece of the internet for myself, I should have the wherewithal to follow through. And, so: here we are. 

After I finished the 30 day music challenge -- which was the last thing I blogged -- I felt a bit drained. Then, too, I had just finished posting poems on my other blog for National Poetry month, and my brain was tired, and my heart a bit deflated. I gave myself a break. Then, my sweet Daisy was hit by a neighbor and was killed. And I was a mess. I couldn't see anything to write about it; there wasn't anything I wanted to share. I just desperately missed my puppy. (I still miss her.) I had to give myself time to grieve her. 

A few months later, I was given a game-changing opportunity: I was offered a Manager position for the Department of OBGYN in the hospital. I took it. The move was swift and heady. I had to find my feet. Figure out what kind of manager I am; what kind I want to be. I've had to hire and fire almost from the moment I got here. Things are finally settling a bit. 

An October vacation, Thanksgiving, Christmas, job, calling, a brief stint in the hospital at the beginning of January, job, calling, recovering and here we are: March. And I can do this again. Maybe. So, diving with both feet, as I do most things...

Brooke tagged me for this:

Here's what you do:
1. Post the rules
2. Share 11 random things about myself
3. Answer the 11 questions from the post in which I was tagged
4. Create 11 new questions for my tag-ees to answer
5. Tag 11 people

I think she'll forgive me if I don't tag 11 people (I don't honestly think I know 11 people who blog. Or rather, I don't know about said blogs.) However, I will share some random things, and answer the questions. 

11 Random Things:

1. I like office supplies. I have enough pens for a small country. 
2. There are books I have read which I consider dear friends. Some have gotten me through a rough time, some have altered the way I see things, some have simply entertained me and done it well. 
3. I have a weird fascination with the Salem Witch Trials. I wish there was a better explanation for them. 
4. I am equally fascinated by all things Tudor. Queen Elizabeth I is a role model. (Sidebar: I saw her Bible on that vacation I mentioned earlier. We, Brooke and I, were at the Folger Shakespeare Library, and the docent was working really hard to tell me something Shakespeare related, but I just went ahead and geeked all the way out over QEI's Bible.)
5. There is always a song in my head. Always. 
6. I am firmly committed to the idea that Cadbury's Mini Eggs are the best secular thing about Easter. I will stockpile before April 8th. 
7. I really like listening to audiobooks. They make my really long commute something more enjoyable. 
8. I am prouder of my ability to embrace my nerdery than almost any other accomplishment I've met as an a adult. There is something wonderful about knowing, and liking, who you are. 
9. I don't really like pie. 
10. My sisters are my very best friends, and I enjoy spending time with my family above most of the other people I know. 
11. I recently downloaded the TapFish app for my nephew and I am addicted. I check on those stupid fish several times a day. 

11 Questions:

1. What are you naturally talented at? I think I'm good at people. I can read them, understand and relate to them, and if asked, can generally help them.

2. What is the most embarrassing song you have on your iPod? Probably something Glee related.

3. What book have you read over and over? Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver and Circle of Friends by Maeve Binchey

4. Who is your hero, and why? My family, individually and collectively, for the people they are, and the things we are to each other.

5. What song represents you? Bach's Cello Suite No. 1

6. What is something that can always make you laugh? Funny stuff. Duh.

7. Who do you consider your best friend? Apart from my sisters, I don't really consider anyone my best friend. I have dear friends, and old friends, and some who mean more than others... But, there is a level of time and dedication which being a best friend requires, and which time and/or distance have made challenging; so, I have very dear friends who will always be in my heart.

8. What would you choose for your last meal? Fried Chicken and raspberry cream pie from Maddox in Brigham City.

9. What movie makes you cry, every time? Bright Star.

10.What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time? It's okay to be smart. Learn a language. Don't date that guy. Don't date him, either. Be brave enough to major in Creative Writing. You're fine, just as you are.

11.What question do you wish I asked, and how would you answer it? "Who is your fictional boyfriend?" John Thorton from North and South

Also,  I am really excited to see The Hunger Games next week, I'm seeing The Civil Wars in May and am beyond thrilled about it, and I love, love Downton Abbey. Just so you know.