I still talk to, and occasionally get together with, my girlfriends from high school. We have made an effort to stay in touch, and try to see each other at least once a year. Last night was such a get together. There are six of us, and despite having vastly different lives, and being at different places in said lives, we still find things to talk about. Mostly we laugh, sometimes we cry, but I think we always leave each other feeling grateful for the others. I know I do. I am so grateful for them, and for the long-standing friendship we share. They are tolerant when I talk too much, and over share, and whatnot, but more importantly, they are wonderful, amazing women, whom I love and admire so much. Laura, who works so hard to take care of her family, and does so with a smile on her face. Jenn, who is going back to school, while raising a beautiful trio of children. Jessie, who has chased her dream, and is an artist (an incredible one to boot). Cynde, who is smart and a fantastic mother. Julie, who has a strong and touching testimony, even after enduring hardships most of us will not be called upon to face. All of them are lovely, gorgeous women, who have the most exquisitely beautiful souls I've ever seen. I am proud and privileged to call them my friends. Thank you, ladies, for your examples to me, and the love and support I have felt from you over the years. I love you!
I think we can relate to this:
As I was looking at my blog earlier, trying to decide what I wanted to say for today, I realized that I've hit 50 posts (this makes 52, but who's counting?), and to that I say, "HOORAY!" To think that mere months ago, I started this blog, and now I have reached literally tens of people... To celebrate this momentous occasion, I am going to reach into the ol' mental grab bag, and share 50 Random Facts!
#1: I am a maudlin gal. In describing myself to a friend the other day, I told her, "If I'm not just a little bit depressed, I'm not happy." It makes sense to me... In my less (or more, depending on how you look at it) maudlin moments, I prefer to call this "suffering for my art." Don't judge.
#2: I believe in the Loch Ness monster.
#3: I admire FANS. You know, the Disney people or Star Trek folks or Marvel geeks or whatever. The ones who have stickers, posters, toys, tattoos, mugs, collectibles, sheets, costumes... I don't love any one thing that much. But I appreciate their passion.
#4: When I was younger, I wanted nothing more than to be a lounge singer, so
#5: I was determined to find a job on a cruise ship, which at the time was really the only venue for a wannabe torch singer. Which leads me to:
#6: Sometimes, I feel I was born in the wrong time period. The time period I SHOULD have been born in varies depending on mood, or how much I like whatever period piece I'm reading, but
#7: I know that I would have adored the 20's for the art, the 40's for the shoes, the hats, the matching red lipstick and nail polish, Regency England for the balls (and Mr. Darcy), Elizabethan England (for Elizabeth, of course), which leads me to:
#8: I absolutely love Queen Elizabeth I, and admire her for the strong woman she proved herself to be. I find her story, and that of her parents, completely riveting.
#9: I'm one of the biggest Tudor geeks you'll ever meet.
#10: I'm also convinced that Elizabeth and I would have been friends, even if she was a ginger.
#11: I can safely long for another time period because I am safely ensconced in the 21st century, where I am rather fond of my cell phone, laptop and Nintendo DS.
#12: I have never had a surgery, although I have had stitches a few times.
#13: I recently learned that there is a "Hobbit Day." It's September 22nd, which is the birthday of both Bilbo and Frodo Baggins. As far as I can tell, celebrants go around barefoot for the day. No word on whether hairy toes are required.
#14: I don't speak any other languages, and
#15: I don't really care if I learn one.
#16: I love John Denver (thanks, Dad!).
#17: I miss encyclopedias. With love to Google, but it just takes all the searching out of research, and thus removes a lot of the joy.
#18: If adjusted for inflation, Gone With the Wind is the highest grossing film of all time.
#19: I am almost ridiculously stubborn. Pretty much anyone who has ever met me can attest to that...
#20: I vastly prefer Fall and Winter to Spring and Summer, even here in Utah, where Winter can be especially brutal. I HATE being hot.
#21: I don't like socks, and
#22: I refuse to sleep in socks unless frostbite is imminent.
#23: I want a pet seahorse. What? That's a normal thing...
#24: I cried after I watched the last episode of Pushing Daisies.
#25: I loved Pushing Daisies. It appealed to my sense of whimsy, plus
#26: Lee Pace is HOT!
#27: I belong to a book club, and have for 3 years.
#28: I love to cross-stitch.
#29: I HATE the word moist. Ugh. It gave me the heebie-geebies just typing it. *shudder*
#30: I am painfully shy, and
#31: I hate parties, and
#32: Trying to talk to strangers in a social setting is so hard for me, I cry.
#33: Prayer works, because I served a mission and talked to strangers --tear free -- every day for 18 months.
#34: Belle is my favorite Disney Princess, because she's kind of nerdy and a reader. I can relate.
#35: I don't believe in love at first sight. At best, one can fall in lust, or intrigue, or desire, but love takes work, and more than 20/20 vision.
#36: John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the same day, which also happened to be July 4th, 1826.
#37: I share my birthday with National Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is really convinient, because
#38: As I've mentioned before, I love pirates. Argh! (Sidebar: Ask me to share my favorite pirate joke...)
#39: I love Law and Order: SVU, and
#40: I have a huge, and alas, unrequited, crush on Elliott Stabler. He is my one true love...
#41: Sometimes I develop crushes on fictional characters. Don't look at me like that. Everyone does it. Although, I would like to take this opportunity to go on record as saying:
#42: I have NEVER developed a crush on any fictional "vampires". I think you know the one I mean... I may be the only woman in America who didn't fall in love with Edward what's-his-face, but I like my vampires non-sparkly. Just saying.
#43: I also may be the only woman in America who didn't read Twilight or any of its sequels. I'm okay with that.
#44: I have probably spilled Diet Coke on every single thing I own.
#45: Robert Frost, American Poet Extraordinaire, was home-schooled until he was in high school.
#46: My favorite painting is The Kiss, by Gustav Klimt.
#47: I generally don't like picking favorites. I get bored easily or I'm fickle by nature, or something, but I really can't commit to a "favorite" movie, book, poem, song, whatever. (This is also why I don't love any one thing like the people I mentioned earlier in #3). For me, there is too much to love. But, this is also why
#48: I have never gotten a tattoo. I'd want something else as soon as it healed.
#49: You don't even want to know the level to which that whole commitment-issue thing screws up relationships. What can I say?
#50: I have finally admitted what I want to be when I grow up. But, that's another post for another time...
Okay, so that was long and utterly self-indulgent, and if you have read this far: Thanks! And thanks for reading my blog. All 52 posts of it.
I recently got together with some old friends. It had been awhile and during the "fill-in/catch-up" conversations, the topic turned, as usually happens among women, to relationships. Among single, LDS women of a certain age, the commiseration these conversations provide can be balm to a spinster soul, but they also lead me to wonder why such commiseration is necessary. Why must we feel the need to build, and help others build, defenses against pity or disdain? Why is "single" a dirty word?
Yes, I am single. True, none of my relationships have gone the distance. Okay, my relationships have failed. But, does this mean that I have failed? That I am a failure? Am I?
I have been twitterpated and had butterflies. I have had crushes, and been crushed upon. I have suffered the sting of love unrequited -- as both a teenager, and an adult. I have flirted, I have laughed, I have shared ice cream and onion rings, and parts of my soul. I have danced, talked, discussed, and fought. I have walked hand in hand with someone in the rain. I have shared music and poetry, and have in turn been taught. I have kissed. I have cried. I have hurt and been hurt. I have lived with the poignant pain of a broken heart.
But, I have also LOVED, and have known the absolute joy of being loved in return...
Is this enough? Perhaps.
Somehow I missed posting anything at all in May. I'm not convinced anyone noticed, but I feel guilty when I don't post anything, and this long stretch has been hanging over my head. I think I didn't want to post anything because I've been feeling blah, and I more than recognized the irony in posting a blah/ranting/pissy entry directly after the last one which touted the beauty around me. So I didn't post anything. I can't guarantee that the next few posts won't be blah, but the guilt is starting to get to me...