I recently got together with some old friends. It had been awhile and during the "fill-in/catch-up" conversations, the topic turned, as usually happens among women, to relationships. Among single, LDS women of a certain age, the commiseration these conversations provide can be balm to a spinster soul, but they also lead me to wonder why such commiseration is necessary. Why must we feel the need to build, and help others build, defenses against pity or disdain? Why is "single" a dirty word?
Yes, I am single. True, none of my relationships have gone the distance. Okay, my relationships have failed. But, does this mean that I have failed? That I am a failure? Am I?
I have been twitterpated and had butterflies. I have had crushes, and been crushed upon. I have suffered the sting of love unrequited -- as both a teenager, and an adult. I have flirted, I have laughed, I have shared ice cream and onion rings, and parts of my soul. I have danced, talked, discussed, and fought. I have walked hand in hand with someone in the rain. I have shared music and poetry, and have in turn been taught. I have kissed. I have cried. I have hurt and been hurt. I have lived with the poignant pain of a broken heart.
But, I have also LOVED, and have known the absolute joy of being loved in return...
Is this enough? Perhaps.
2 comments:
You, lovely lady, are no failure! This is beautifully written.
I often wonder why the focus slips so often to marriage in our faith and primarily its subsequent subculture--especially in my particular singles' ward. Single men and women are given this subversive message that their completeness relies on that relationship alone.
Now, I believe family is important. I believe marriage is important. I also believe our relationship with our Father in Heaven is much more important than either of these--for without THAT relationship being fully developed and nurtured, our future relationships with children and spouses fizzle and flounder.
You are right, Rookie... It's too bad more singles don't realize that. I'd rather be whole and happy and alone than anything.
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